Radiator 2 – A Post-Play Reflection

Just as a point now that I’ve had one playthrough of each of these three minigames that make up the Radiator 2 Collection, I can kind of see quite clearly how intimacy seemingly plays a part, that, you know, especially for Hurt Me Plenty and Succulent which were both games that I kind of had an idea of what I was doing, that I felt connected to the figure that was on screen and I think that’s where the intimacy might lie. 

So, you know, with Hurt Me Plenty, it – I felt very almost concerned for what is, you know, my in-game partner, as the spanking dom, and very much anxious that I was going to take things too far and it almost, you know, I think in some regards I started to think of them as a real-life counterpart, to almost respect them and their desires and their wishes. And so, because of that, I felt, you know, no compulsion to – to do whatever [I] wanted in the game because that would make said partner uncomfortable. 

With Stick Shift I will see how my next playthrough goes once the countdown has, um, reached zero and I can play the game again. But it is kind of fascinating that there is such a, uh, mechanic in there. That, you know, game as well is something to do with intimacy in that it’s about a guy very homoerotically being intimate with his gearstick so you know there’s an allegory here about masturbation obviously but, it seemed difficult for me to really get a sense of it because I weren’t clear on what it is I was supposed to be dong and I was more focusing on making sure I hit the correct gears and the correct colour coordinated points. Uh, perhaps that was the wrong approach, I don’t know, but I became so focused on that, that maybe I wasn’t paying an awareness t other things going on in the game’s world that could’ve attributed to that kind of ending. So, I look forward to playing that one again, uh, to see maybe even reflect on what I’ve just done in comparison to – to a new playthrough for it.  

With – with Succulent it’s, you know, it’s pretty clear to me that it is this, sort of, steamy game around, sort of, blowjobs and kind of has this motion of sexual acts with how you use – use the mouse, and now realising that my performance in the game immediately started speeding up when I realised we was reaching a climax is very surreal that I was – like Hurt Me Plenty – that I became so intimately connected to the in-game bodies whilst not necessarily actually being erotically drawn to them, there was still a sort of intimate interaction I was having with the game, that I seemingly, kind of, forgot myself and what I was doing and just went with – with the dynamics and the rhythm of the game.  

So, I can see how all three operate around intimacy and I will say just as a – as a point that I find this – the game’s opening, uh, menu screen of a bare-chested, a sort of, hairy bare-chested male visually appealing, um, so immediately I’m kind of already, sort of, engaging and thrust into this, sort of, homoerotic atmosphere which I quite like, so. 

I look forward to returning to this at a later time and date, to maybe, you know, play some of these minigames again, but especially Stick Shift to see if I can maybe do something differently. 

Hurt Me Plenty Playthrough

So today I am playing the Radiator Two short games collection by Robert yang, who I know as a developer had created some games based around intimacy and gay male subculture and queer cultures and whilst I know these games are not necessarily entirely explicit, I decided to choose them because that they have the intention for things like intimacy and, um, I am aware that some of the games in this collection are based around things like consent and slowly building intimacy as much alike his other works which I have planned to play.

So, this first one that I’m going to be playing out of Radiator 2 is going to be the short game Hurt Me Plenty. I do know of this game already as it came up on my radar during my time on this thesis and so I do know that it is a spanking simulator. But beyond that I don’t actually know too much else about it and it’ll be a first proper playthrough that I’ve done of the game. So, this one will be my experience of Hurt Me Plenty.

Ok, so the games telling me sound is important and use a mouse or a gamepad and I’m in this room that seems very atmospheric, that I can hear sort of voices in the background but it’s very muted, almost like I’m the only one here.

Ok, let’s see. So I can see in the back there’s a poster here that says something like all power exchanges has to be negotiated and then there’s like a symbol with – that’s in the shape of a heart that’s two hands and there’s a vibrating phone. So if I – Oh. Ok. There’s a hairy male chest on this phone, clearly ringing me. So, uh, can’t seem to do anything else. I guess I just have to answer it.

Ok so I click the answer button.

Ok. Oh. Confronted with a bare-chested male here. There’s like a, uh, bassy [sic] soundtrack that’s in the background that’s really repetitive, and I think the symbols on it – on the screen are trying to tell me to move my mouse up and down whilst clicking. Oh ok so this is actually simulating the sort of shaking of hands stage which is filling up a bar, um, it’s come up with some kind of symbol which I’m not entirely sure what it means. Some kind of spikey object, then there’s a second one that’s a red X as I’m shaking this guy’s hand, it feels kind of weird actually that – but in a sort of, not in a negative way, it’s a weird sensation that’s like an extension of myself. I’m shaking this sort of figures hand whilst I’m playing, that the mouse is an extension of my arm. And the last symbol was what looked to be a jockstrap.

Oh. Ok. So he is now wearing a jockstrap and I have to – I have a clock here, I guess I just – Oh. Ok. So with a swing of the mouse is how I spank him as he moves. Ok. So there’s a bunch of symbols that appear on the screen that range from a smiley face to a feather but, I’m speeding up with my mouse because I’m not entirely sure what these mean. It feels unusual as I do this because this is not actually something I’ve ever experienced and clearly I’m supposed to be some sort of dominatrix in this, um, scenario. But I’m not entirely sure how much I’m supposed to do this. Do I hold the button. I keep swing – oh ok. I didn’t mean to do that – is that part of the game. So I’ve just moved my mouse quite rapidly from side to side to in essence spank him quicker and it made him go red and more sort of – he started to writhe in front of me and the symbols started to change colour and I could also hear him sort of breathe heavier and immediately I’ve just stopped because – I don’t know — I felt like maybe I had did it too much.

So I’ve returned to the speed I was at before. There doesn’t seem to be any actual progress here, just the clock that I have to finish. I wonder if – so, I keep doing it. I’m getting sort of it a lot of smiling faces and love hearts. Ok. So even though I continued the same rhythm, the same scenario happened again where he started getting red and there’s all the heavy breathing and the symbols started to change colour into more of a yellow than like the greens and blues that I was getting that seemed more positive. So I stopped again just to let him, I guess, regain himself. And I’ve continued again. Uh. Not that I want to but part of me is kind of wondering what truly kind of happens if you carry on past that point. So I will continue this same motion thus far, now almost five minutes in, to see if there is anything beyond that point that actually tells me to in essence stop.

So, he seems to – Oh. He seems to I guess kind of not sort of wince out in pain necessarily, but there is some sort of symbols that appear that makes it seem like he’s uncomfortable. And then it’s sort of seemingly just holding off ever so slightly puts him back into a more comfortable state, and then I’m back to having positive sort of symbols appear.

Interestingly, for me, there’s not really much else to look at bar his behind really. Like he is very central to the screen and you have nothing else to really look at as you do this, bar his behind, which to me kind of makes sense as that’s the only area that seems to give a clear indication other than the symbols that, you know, maybe I’m taking this too far.

So, I carry on with this same motion, and I can hear him – his heavy breathing come back again. So he’s started the same wincing of potential pain and heavy breathing so I’ve briefly stopped and I’ve returned again and I’m seeing if its – that’s actually a constant, that he wants me to do. Thinking to the symbols as I continue this same motion again, that I was shown at very beginning when we, I guess, agreed, they’re not entirely clear as to this character’s limits. But, interestingly, I can change my sort of rhythm and pattern here.

Ah. Ok. Yeah, so I accidently moved my mouse and slapped him again during this sort of period where he’s regaining his composure and immediately the yellow symbols started up so this is clearly the game telling me to hold back and uh restrain myself a little bit to respect this said partner here. And I’m almost sort of nine, no, eight and a half minutes in, and it seems like this is in essence just the main objective that you simulate this entire sort of spanking dominatrix individual.

It seems like there’s a difference when I just move my mouse though compared to when I hold, uh, the click button down and move the mouse, it seems to generate a more harsher slap. So immediately I heard him sort of wince out slightly in pain and it was telling me to carry on so what I did was sort of hold back slightly and then immediately swung my mouse quite quickly to hit him hard and he didn’t seem to mind that at all.

Oh. Ok. I accidently moved the mouse again and he immediately displayed this sort of sad face symbol which leads me to believe that this, you know, that he is starting to feel uncomfortable. So, there doesn’t seem to be much else to do and part of me is naturally kind of holding back from, you know, from carrying on as soon as I see those symbols because it – there’s a feeling inside that when this seems to happen, that it feels wrong to carry on further. But it doesn’t seem to actually indicate, you know, how far – so again we’ve reached the yellow symbols. Oh okay so hitting him whilst the yellow symbols are on continues more so that’s clearly when he starts to feel uncomfortable. And so I can see the character sort of breathe whilst he’s readjusting himself to feel comfortable again before I carry on.

So I imagine there is a point at which, you know, you make him so uncomfortable in some form if you just continuously carried on. Yeah. Ok. So this just seems to be a constant, um, almost a backwards and forwards with this entire thing. So I’m going to end it here and click the – the sort of end session button to see what happens.

Oh I see so now there’s a kind of shoulder rubbing sequence where I move the mouse from side to side to rub the guy’s shoulder which is very reminiscent of, you know, the aftercare I guess of these sort of things. So you have the agreement stage, then you have the actual play stage, and then there’s this aftercare stage. And again there’s some more symbols and the first symbol that’s come up as this bar fills up whilst I rub the shoulders of this character is a skull but it doesn’t actually tell me what that means. And the next symbol is what looks to be a sort of bomb or explosive, and the final symbol is a star. So, I’m not entirely sure exactly whether or not I’ve done well, um, I don’t know whether these are actually just a signifier as to my kind of performance in the game but I was kind of drawn into a moment where, whilst playing, I felt a kind of concern that I was going to accidently take things to far or move my mouse in a way that slapped him too much. Um. So yeah it definitely made me take kind of caution on what I was doing and being aware of what I was doing I guess.

Even though I don’t know how well, um, how well I did as said dominatrix, um, but having those symbols even though I weren’t really clear on what they meant at the beginning and those symbols that appearing in the game, sort of kept me in check, it kept me following the comfortable – the comfortable levels of the participant, so, yeah, I can see how this is a game around that kind of consent and aftercare and negotiating power. But I was definitely almost anxious that I was going to take things too far, and even though I wondered what happens if I do take things too far, I don’t feel comfortable doing that. But this was most certainly a kind of a game I’ve not really experienced before but it definitely made me be aware of my – my actions in the game. And I will return to the main menu to play one of the other minigames next.